More and more women over 30 are discovering they have AuDHD—a co-occurring condition of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). However, due to high masking, many have spent years misdiagnosed with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or borderline personality disorder, never realising they were neurodivergent.
Women with AuDHD often excel at camouflaging their struggles, learning to mimic neurotypical behaviour to fit in. This masking is one of the key reasons they go undiagnosed for decades, leading to burnout, emotional exhaustion, and chronic self-doubt.
Now, thanks to greater awareness and online communities, more women—especially mothers balancing work, family, and sensory overwhelm—are recognising their AuDHD traits and finally understanding why they have always felt "different".
This blog post explores:
✔️ The symptoms of AuDHD in women
✔️ Why so many women are misdiagnosed or undiagnosed
✔️ How masking leads to burnout
✔️ The unique strengths of having AuDHD
What is AuDHD?
AuDHD (Autistic ADHD) is when autism and ADHD occur together in an individual. While ADHD is linked to impulsivity, inattention, and hyperactivity, autism is associated with sensory sensitivities, routine-based thinking, and social difficulties.
For women, the symptoms often present differently than in men, leading to late diagnosis or misdiagnosis. Many women with AuDHD are told they are:
🔹 Anxious – Because they struggle with sensory overload and social uncertainty
🔹 Lazy or forgetful – Due to executive dysfunction and task paralysis
🔹 Too emotional – As a result of emotional dysregulation and empathy overload
🔹 Socially awkward or distant – Because of burnout from masking interactions
🔹 Unmotivated or inconsistent – Due to fluctuating energy levels and hyperfocus cycles
These misunderstandings cause years of frustration, self-blame, and exhaustion, leaving women wondering why they struggle so much while others seem to "cope"…
Common Symptoms of AuDHD in Women
1. Masking and Social Exhaustion
✅ Mimicking social behaviours to appear "normal"
✅ Practising conversations and facial expressions in advance
✅ Suppressing stimming, fidgeting, or other natural autistic traits
✅ Feeling mentally drained after socialising
2. Emotional Dysregulation
✅ Intense emotional highs and lows
✅ Deep empathy, but difficulty regulating emotions
✅ Sensory overload triggers anxiety, meltdowns, or shutdowns
✅ Misdiagnosed as bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder
3. Executive Dysfunction
✅ Difficulty starting and completing tasks (task paralysis)
✅ Chronic procrastination or hyperfocus on the wrong priorities
✅ Struggles with household management, parenting, or work deadlines
✅ Easily overwhelmed by to-do lists
4. Sensory Processing Differences
✅ Sensory sensitivities to loud noises, bright lights, and clothing textures
✅ Overwhelm in crowded or chaotic environments
✅ Rigid routines and habits to avoid sensory discomfort
5. Hyperfocus and Special Interests
✅ Obsessively deep-diving into passions, hobbies, or career fields
✅ Forgetting to eat, sleep, or take breaks when engrossed in an interest
✅ Feeling motivated only by interest-based activities
6. Burnout and Energy Crashes
✅ "High-functioning" in public but exhausted in private
✅ Alternating between productivity spurts and total shutdown
✅ Feeling like a failure for not maintaining the same energy levels
For many women, these challenges intensify after the age of 30, especially when juggling the demands of motherhood, relationships, work, and home life.
Why More Women Are Self-Diagnosing AuDHD After 30
The rise in self-diagnosis and late discovery is due to several factors:
🔹 Masking Becomes Unsustainable – Years of hiding neurodivergent traits eventually lead to burnout and emotional exhaustion.
🔹 Motherhood Highlights Executive Dysfunction – Managing a home, career, and children exposes hidden struggles with organisation, focus, and overwhelm.
🔹 Increased Awareness – Social media and online communities help women recognise their own neurodivergence and find relatable experiences.
🔹 Reevaluating Past Misdiagnoses – Many women were previously diagnosed with depression or anxiety but found that standard treatments didn’t fully help.
Strengths of AuDHD: The Hidden Superpowers
While AuDHD presents challenges, it also comes with unique strengths that can be powerful assets.
✨ Hyperfocus and Deep Passion – Ability to master complex topics, making them highly skilled in specialised careers and creative fields.
✨ Creative Problem-Solving – Unique, unconventional thinking allows them to find solutions others miss.
✨ Deep Empathy and Emotional Insight – Strong sense of justice, fairness, and understanding of emotions, making them excellent advocates and supporters.
✨ Authenticity and Honesty – No time for social games—they value real, meaningful connections.
✨ Resilience and Adaptability – Years of navigating a neurotypical world have made them highly resourceful.
✨ Strong Moral Compass – Deep sense of integrity and a passion for standing up for what’s right.
✨ Attention to Detail – Ability to spot patterns and details others overlook, making them excellent in research, technology, design, and analysis.
Recognising and embracing these strengths allows women with AuDHD to build fulfilling careers, relationships, and lifestyles that align with their neurodivergence rather than working against it.
Reframing AuDHD: A Strength, Not Just a Struggle
For decades, many women with AuDHD believed they were "too much," "too scattered," or "too sensitive." The truth is: they were never broken—just misunderstood.
🔹 If you suspect you have AuDHD, seeking professional assessment and connecting with other neurodivergent women can be life-changing.
🔹 If you've been misdiagnosed, looking at your experiences through the lens of autism and ADHD may provide the clarity you've been searching for.
🔹 If you're struggling, know that you are not alone. Many women are on this journey with you—unmasking, learning, and thriving in their own way.
It’s time to stop masking and start embracing the unique strengths that come with being neurodivergent.
Interested in learning more about how to help a neurodivergent child focus? Contact Davis UK & Ireland today to explore how we can support your child’s learning and attention needs!
