ADHD and Communication Challenges: Helping Kids Build Friendships
For children with ADHD, making friends and keeping friendships can sometimes feel harder than it is for others. Here are a few reasons why that might happen, along with ways to help your child navigate these social challenges.
We all see the world in our own way, but most people eventually learn to look at things from multiple angles. We understand that people can have different views and experiences that are just as valid as our own. For children with ADHD, however, seeing things from another’s perspective can be challenging. They might feel so sure of their own point of view that it’s hard to imagine it any other way, which can sometimes lead to strong opinions and a love for debate. This confidence can be a strength, but it sometimes creates friction when making friends.
In social situations, children with ADHD may sometimes seem very determined to get what they want. They may try to take control of situations to feel secure, especially when the world around them feels unpredictable. This need for control isn’t meant to harm others—it’s often a way for them to feel safe. However, this can sometimes lead to them pressing for what they want, even when friends or family have hinted they’re not interested.
Another thing to consider is that children with ADHD can find it hard to hear and accept “no.” They might not pick up on gentle hints and can persist with requests or ideas. Even when told “no” directly, they might try again and again, not out of stubbornness but because they’re genuinely hopeful and motivated. This persistence can sometimes bring them short-term success, like gaining attention or learning something new. But if it goes too far, friends may feel uncomfortable and choose to step back. This can be confusing and disappointing for a child with ADHD, who might not fully understand why others have stopped reaching out.
If you notice any of these patterns in your child’s friendships, here are some supportive steps you can take:
Help them develop self-awareness so they can begin to see how their actions might affect friendships.
Encourage them to recognise when they feel the urge to argue and find ways to respond calmly.
Teach them to notice when they’re trying to steer things their way, especially if it might affect others.
Reinforce the idea of listening to “no,” even if it’s given in a gentle hint, and encourage them to pause if they hear it twice.
Look into programmes like Davis® Concepts for Life, which guide children in understanding these social dynamics.
By understanding and supporting the ADHD style of thinking, we can help children embrace their strengths, feel good about who they are, and develop the skills to build strong and lasting friendships.
Tatiana Whitehead
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ADHD and communication challenges
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